Arby’s Stock Price Plummets – Low-Flow, Environmental Toilets Blamed

This week Wall Street saw the Arby’s Corporation’s stock price plummet after investors fled. The depature resulted from the company’s latest cost savings measure, the installation of low-flow tankless toilets in all US locations, a move that literally resulted in a Shit Storm.

Lashaunda Jenkins, an assistant manager in Arby’s Lima, OH location told the Douche Review, “they was shit everywhere. It came up from the floor drains and some of the workers slipped and fell. I told the manager that we should close but she did not want too. Fu%$ing nasty”

Mrs Jenkins experience was not much different from that of Arby’s customers and employees around the country last week. The literal shit storm resulted from “Green” toilets installed by POOP, Inc, an environmentally conscious plumbing contractor with offices in every US state and throughout Canada.

“We feel the green investment will eventually pay off for the company. This minor set back is nothing, Arby’s will conserve over 10,000,000 gallons of water, annually” stated Kimberly Blummond, a representative from POOP, Inc.

While POOP officials remain positive, investors scrambled and ultimately ran. JP Morgan analyst Wade Stockwell told investors during a conference call this week, “This stock price smells bad. We advise clients to Sell.”

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